Pattaya Shopping - The Alternative Thailand Shopping Guide

I am not your moral compass, and I would never presume to inflict upon you my own personal judgments of what defines right from wrong, that you must decide for yourself. This article in essence has but one purpose, to highlight shopping opportunities that may be made available to you should you choose to visit Pattaya, Thailand, that could land you in hot water, either spiritually, or upon return to your home country, should you choose to indulge.

Pattaya, Thailand, is heaven on Earth to some, and hell for others, Pattaya is a party town, a den of inequity, a place where love stories are made and broken, a place to run to and a place to run from, all. Pattaya is notorious for its adult-orietated night-life, a city where those the world over looking for fun flock, and a city where Thais in search of easy money and easy prey accumulate.

For amongst the hand carved frogs and Buddha canvas paintings, the traditional head-wear of hill tribes and second-hand paper-back books, lie more modern wares. Fodder for the appetites of opulent Western tourists.

Pattaya Shopping - Pirate DVDs and Counterfeit Goods

Whether you're looking for counterfeit Ray-Ban sunglasses or copied versions of Hollywood blockbusters on DVD you won't have to look far whilst shopping in Thailand. For within the central areas of cities such as Bangkok and Pattaya every square inch is over-flowing with road-side stalls peddling anything and everything the budget-wary shopper could ever dream of.

100 baht (a couple of dollars) will buy you an almost perfect copy of the new 'Iron Man' Movie, just hours after its release (if not before) whilst 500 baht (with a little haggling) could get you ten. A designer T-shirt rip off can also be bought for 100 baht or less, with designer shades going for 2-300. Handbags, clothing, jewelery, and top end watches, all carefully reverse engineered by Thai entrepreneurs with their eyes on the prize, clutching hand-fulls of notes and handing over knock-off goods to the queuing Falangs, desperate to pay a little less for their right to wear somebody they'll never meets name across their chest.

Also fairly massive weapons of destruction.

Pattaya Shopping - Weapons of Fairly Massive Destruction

Whilst shopping in Thailand, and Pattaya in particular, you'll be tempted by all manner of lethal arms. From Samurai swords to nunchucks, brass knuckles and billy clubs, and even those electric projectile tazers that police shoot criminals with these days, Thailand has it all. I remember flinging myself against a wall the first time a smiling Thai in a straw hat approached me waving a Tazer in my face, before realizing that he wanted to sell it to me, and not kill me with it. But I declined.

Shurikens of all barbs and sizes adorn stalls next to 7-11's, with battle axes and broad swords mixed in with portable DVD players and paper lanterns. No guns here, and it's reminiscent in this respect of a more civilized time, where if you wanted to whack somebody, you really had to get up close and personal with your machete, and fight for your right to do so.

Pattaya Shopping - Drugs

Shopping in Pattaya though is not all about the shops and stalls, but also about the vast array of multi-colored uppers and downers you'll be offered as you stroll along the sea front. I'm assuming that such offers aren't made to old couples and familiys with children (although I could be wrong), but if you look a certain way, and walk a certain walk, you won't find such invitations lacking. From the famous Thai-stick green to badly cut nose-powder, the taxi motorcyclist is your new best friend, if such things take your fancy.

But beware whilst shopping in Thailand for narcotics, for drug laws may be far more severe than those of your own country. And police corruption is not beyond setting you up for a fall, if large bribes to turn a blind-eye can not be met. Nobody wants to do time in 'Bang Kwan', Thailand's notorious prison, which is also known as the 'Big Tiger', because it eats people up.

Pattaya Shopping - Flesh

Every taste is catered for in the city of Pattaya, where life is lived by different laws to those you may be used to, this is a different world. Ladies in miniskirts and hotpants, Ladyboys the same, and guys waxed and buffed wearing pink cowboy hats, Walking Street, Pattaya, is not a usual street, not by anybodies standards. But a sight to see it surely is.

Under neon lights the Thai bar girls, guys, and those inbetween dance suggestively, locking eyes, and attempting to pull you in. Sex is for sale here, and so is love for a price. Hearts are broken, drinks are shared, bodies grind, and tears are spilt, both by Thais and Falangs alike, in this cultural mixing pot of favors for money. Leave your judgement at the door, because this is a kingdom that has existed and functioned perfectly for thousands of years before your arrival, and will continue to do so long after you've left, so either dig in, move on, or avoid altogether if such things are not what you seek. Because the flesh trade in Pattaya stands center stage, everything else is secondary and a satellite built around the needs of those who come to play.

So for good or for bad, this is Pattaya.

Welcome to the circus.