This is a question I see asked often by those who have fallen in love with a Thai bar girl. Because if you hadn't already agreed to do so before returning to your home country, you'll soon get the phone call asking you to send money.
And that's when it's decision time. If you know deep down in your heart that this was nothing more than a drunken fantasy or a holiday romance then face up to that fact now and move on, you'll save yourself a lot of bother in the long run. But if you've already read the thousands of horror stories littering the web and are still convinced that the love between you and your Thai girlfriend is genuine, then you have a long hard slog ahead of you, that begins with deciding just how much money to send your new love each month.
One way of deciding would be to base the amount you send upon the average Thai working wage. Assuming that this is an amount that the average Thai citizen is able to live on comfortably then this represents a relatively practical target to aim for.
How much money should I send my Thai girlfriend each month?
Having looked around it appears that the average monthly wage in Thailandis somewhere around 10,000 baht, with some estimates being as high as 15,000 and some as low as 7,000 baht per month. So in theory sending the sum of 10,000 baht per month to your Thai girlfriend should allow her to live if not luxuriously, then no worse off than the average Thai citizen, and better than many.
Having looked around it appears that the average monthly wage in Thailandis somewhere around 10,000 baht, with some estimates being as high as 15,000 and some as low as 7,000 baht per month. So in theory sending the sum of 10,000 baht per month to your Thai girlfriend should allow her to live if not luxuriously, then no worse off than the average Thai citizen, and better than many.
However things are never that easy.
Because if your new Thai girlfriend was a bar girl, who enjoyed relative success within her chosen profession, then she is most likely accustomed to enjoying more money per month than the average Thai employee, and your new Thai girlfriend may well either through greed or through the need to support dependents be reluctant to settle for less.
Because if your new Thai girlfriend was a bar girl, who enjoyed relative success within her chosen profession, then she is most likely accustomed to enjoying more money per month than the average Thai employee, and your new Thai girlfriend may well either through greed or through the need to support dependents be reluctant to settle for less.
Sending money to Thai Girlfriends
Some men will be too stingy, send the girl they 'love' peanuts, and then become angry when their Thai girlfriend is forced to return to the bars in order to be able to eat. Whilst others will re-mortgage their homes and sell their car, sending it all to their beautiful Angel of Thailand, who spoilt rotten will keep on asking for more, until there is nothing left of the money, or the man, to give.
My formula:
Another way of figuring out how much money to send your Thai girlfriend each month, and the one I personally used whilst 'sponsoring' a bar girl for four years was this. Instead of working out the average monthly wage for a Thai citizen, work out your own average monthly wage, and divide it into portions.
If you earn $1500 per month, subtract whatever the amount is that goes to pay for rent, and other necessities (but not luxuries), and then divide the remainder in two, and send half to her. Obviously this is not a completely equal split, because your Thai girlfriends rent etc. will have to come out of her half of the disposable money, whilst yours is taken from your base earnings, but life is far cheaper in Thailand, and in addition, if you intend to remain the main breadwinner in an international relationship, then you're going to need to be able to maintain rent and car payments, etc. in order to remain employed, so as to be able to continue sending her money, should you so choose to do so.
But how much should I really send my Thai girlfriend each month?
The answer to this is simple, if you really do love her, and you're 100% sure she loves you back, then you'll send her however much you can comfortably afford to spare, without putting yourself in financial or physical danger. Don't skimp, don't spoil, but communicate, the truth will soon out if she's only in this for the money, but after all, this is the woman you love, and just like when making financial decisions with a western partner keep her in the loop, talk it through with her, and find out just how much she really needs to live comfortably on each month, from her own mouth.
And if you don't have that much to spare, and you're still sure that your relationship is solid, then you'll do your damndest to get a second job, just like you would to take care of a woman you loved from anywhere else in the world.
Just don't become blinded by beauty.
Jeeze, I can't imagine how hard it would be, to be the breadwinner for someone so far away.
ReplyDeleteHey DM, yes, it sure is a prickly cactus when you find yourself in this kind of situation. When a friend of mine saw I'd written this his response was 'none', that's how much you send (knowing what he knows from my own experience). And in most cases he's probably right. But I do know several guys who have had successful relationships with Thai girls (at least to date), so never say never. =)
ReplyDeleteYou are a very generous man Mrvoodoo. I think that at the root of it you are right though. If you genuinely love and care about each other then you will both do your best for each other.
ReplyDeleteThanks Peter, I appreciate that in 90% of cases it would be better not to get involved, or send money full stop. But I guess this was supposed to be practical advice for those still wearing rose-tinted glasses.
ReplyDeleteBut with that said, if you're thinking of your relationship with your Thai girlfriend, etc. as a real one, and she's somebody you're planning to support and take care of, then trying to get away with sending as little money as possible from the start, isn't a great omen for the relationships longevity.
Thanks again.
Interesting peek into a different culture.
ReplyDeleteWell, it is a heroic act to love someone miles away and yet able to support her. Of course, it is only you who knows if it is really love and not just money. But be careful. If love is present, then your angel from Thailand must at least work something out other than going back to the bar in order to compensate whatever you give. Though, words may be easier said than done, you always have to weigh things before you go dive in the pool.
ReplyDeleteThanks mbwalz, glad you found it interesting. :)
ReplyDeleteHey Babyhudson, heroic or incredibly stupid, one of the two. ;) You make some sound points, but a pretty smile faked with expertise can easily be confused for love, by those who crave such things. Thanks for reading. =)
You can take the girl out the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl ??
ReplyDelete@ bestvue - I suspect you're probably right (or at least in most cases).
ReplyDeletei would say if you wanted to retain the girl in the photo you would need to add another zero to that figure mrvoodo
ReplyDeleteas they say love is blind well lust anyway
hello there,
ReplyDeletewell may i have finally found some help,as i really need some.i am an aussie that went to phukett over christmas/newyears.yes i went for fun and enjoyment and not being rude but to enjoy lady compnay every night.but after the first 3 nights of different women i met a lady and we stayed togther for the next 10 nights.i was not expecting this as i have been single 10 yrs and enjuoy my life as it is.but after the end of my holiday i found myself very relaxed and happy which i just nevber expected.yes i paid her bar fines and an amount every day plus dinner,gifts and did not mind as i had great time.she told me she did n ot want to lose me and was not her normal to stay with one man,true or not who knew but i am aperson who believes in giving people a chnace.i told her to go home and i would pay her to stay with family till we sorted if there was more to this,after january i wanted her to come to australia to see if there was some thing for us both as you cant find that just in thailand.now i had to wait min three months and all the stuff for the visa to get sorted which we have done,,i even just recently travelled back to thailand to meet family and stay with her in the village things then were great.awwww but now things are just falling apart,it is stressing me to the point i have not been going to work and i just dont know what to beleive and just mabee some one can help with their thoughts,since january i have been paying her 20000 bath a month i thought this a bit much but thought ok i can just afford it for 3 to 4 months until visa.she has mum/dad and one son,but of course their is always i need more,but i tell her nooo make use of the 20000 as i am not silly and see and know what about people earn in thailand.i have told her at least a dozen times and even just 2 weeks ago to her face i am not rich,i am single man paying house,car etc and cant just give more money out of the blue.i only have so much money and dont forget i have to pay...
Don't be fool by her sad tales. She just want your money. My husband is the same as you, blinded by her charm. They are up to no good but money.
Deletevisa,airfares,hotels when i am there,her to travel to bangkok to do visa etc etc etc there is so much on the side.i would have thought if she did not want to come to australia just yet i would have thought ,,yep wants money not me,,but she is in her village,she wants to come to australia,she damn sure gets jealous if i look at another thai lady haha,so i see all the belief that she is into me,not love but careing about me and looked after me so much in the village etc.but as i left the village to come home a car that was lent to me by her uncle to use was then all of a sudden 6000 baht to use i said when did this happen and she said thats how it is and i said yes but you have to at least be respectful of me and tell me what you have in mind,i have no problem helping and paying for a car that i would have had to hired any way but hell,at least tell me so i kn ow and can organize my money,i was asked by her for more money before i left but had already paid her the month money agreed on and i started to pull away from this girl that i thought i liked alot.now i gave her her month money and told her i have no more,that is it be careful with it as i have to pay airfares for her and my recent holiday to see her and go back to work to save.but now she agains asks for more money and now informs me that the motorbike at her home i am paying for it and i must make payments,and when i question this it is like i am a bad man,jeezzz i cant keep doing this as i cant give up paying my payments for my life here if she just wants more and more,i know when she is in australia i have to pay for her family if she is not working but its like if she asks for money it should just be there and if i question it i then for what ever reason dont want to support her.the visa is done,tickets to australia are on the way so i feel she must be interested and care for me if shes coming here but i cant keep dealing with talking about money agreeing then wanting more,and not telling me the full story then if i say no i am bad.it is so distressing because now i feel i dont trust her and i am losing my feeling for her.is there a break down in communication,it this normal,has any one any thoughts,,,yes she speaks good english is another reason why i felt comfortable in the first place.i dont knoiw what to do as if i say dont come am i wrong or if she comes here are we going to futher argue about money,,,i dont want to argue,i dont want to feel this way haha if i wanted that i would have got myself another aussie women.please any ideas
ReplyDeleteHey expatudon08, I don't think you're off the mark there, she certainly is a fine looking woman (she's not my ex though).
ReplyDeleteLust sure can feel like love sometimes... :D
Hey Ruckusr, it's late here and I have to sleep soon, so I'll have to keep this brief for now and try and respond better tomorrow if possible. You're not in a situation that's unfamiliar to me (and thousands of other guys), but unfortunately you've been caught in a beautiful and well laid trap. And whilst that may not be what you want to hear, she will (if given the oppertunity) bleed you dry. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteThis doesn't make her a bad person (or Thai girls in general), and it doesn't make you a fool, it's just that everything gets lost in the translation. People need to eat, and 'love' doesn't neccesarily mean love as we might think of it, in Thailand.
Well, that's my take on it anyway, but I don't claim to be an expert.
Take it easy fella.
thank you mrv,i look forward to any more comments you may have.dont be sorry at 40 yrs old i know that life aint always what you wish.like i said if she was not coming to australia and had not gone and done all the visa i would then think she is bleeding me dry ,thats the problem as you say and i know they need money to survive but its just how they go about it and weather its just their way.if she was not coming to australia and just staying in village and asking for more and more then we would not still be speaking with her as plenty more over there who may be honest..haha BUT what if she is interested and just what my idea of paying and hers are way different and i dump her and i might miss out on some one good as the 2 times i have been in thailand with her have been great except the car incident and she has never asked for more than a couple thousand baht extra.its not like i give her 20000 per month then she askes for another 20000 and to be honest i have never given her any more than the agreed amount,and she still goes along with me and coming to aussie in 3 weeks. thanks for your time
ReplyDeleteactually here if love comes from both sides then whtz de fucking reason to send a money 2 a gal frndz ......... i dont know dat when diz fucking trend gona change y should alwayz boys should offer money for galz y not they.........
ReplyDeleteI'm not from Thailand and definitely not a bar girl. She must be lucky to have you. If you really love her, there's no harm in sending her money - but you have to be really how she spends it. Perhaps you can ask her to go back to school so she can find another job. Be cool! More love!
ReplyDeletethanks for your comment,,well its going to get interesting now as the visa is done and she is coming to australia in 3 weeks,soooo well i will give it a go but its a pity you have to have the idea in the back of your mind that she just doing it for the money..thanks
ReplyDeleteHey ruckusr, sorry if I came across as a bit harsh on the Thai ladies before, they're certainly not all the same and I do know several guys who have gone on to marry their Thai girlfriends and couldn't be happier. I guess relationships anywhere in the world come with significant risk, I hope it works out for you both.
ReplyDeleteTreat her like the princess she hopefully is, but be strong enough to say 'enough' should she try and take you for all you have.
I need to head back to the land of smiles soon myself. :)
Best wishes and take it easy.
Thanks to all for reading and for your comments. And some good advice from GraceThomas too there, although I'm not sure how well received it would be by your average Thai bar girl. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks again.
Well from someone who has lived in Thailand for years. Girls in Thailand who expect money from their boyfriends will cheat on you whether you send money or not. This is 100% true with every relationship I have ever seen here.
ReplyDeleteGuys you are hurting yourselves. It is tough but stop this. There is nothing so painful than a woman sucking you dry your hard earn cash.
ReplyDeleteas much as possible that your responsibility and duty
ReplyDeleteI have lived in Thailand for years. I have yet to meet a girl who is faithful to a man who sends money. I am dead serious about this. The type of woman who wants you to send money is not the faithful type. If 1 boyfriend is sending money...why wouldn't they want to double there money and have two boyfriends sending money. It's sad but true. Again i live here and I know what i am talking about.
ReplyDeleteI don't doubt that what you say is true, Joe. But it is unfortunate. I can only hope that some are smart enough to search the internet for answers such as yours before they become entangled in a Thai bar girls web. And I don't blame the Thai girls either. They do what they have to do to survive (I guess).
ReplyDeleteBut they can be very convincing if you don't know how the game is played. But then, is this not true of all women?
And even though I lost money and face, and felt like a sucker when the spell was finally broken, I still had adventures I wouldn't have had were it not for meeting her. And you can always get more money (hopefully). I regret it and I don't.
Why do I want 7000B when I can make 60,000B laying on my back abd cumming?
ReplyDeleteI am with a thai girl and currently waiting for a visa so she can come home to Oz with me. She like all other thai girls who work in bars or massage, had multiple guys sending her money when we met...from Sweden, Italy, France and Australia. We have spoken openly about it, she wants to have a life with me and has broken off contact with her other sponsors. These girls are like anyone, they want a life, love, security, a partner etc..
ReplyDeleteSo if you are serious about staying with her and she is too, you should be able to talk freely about all the secrets these girls have...and they all have.
She is on the phone with her thai girlfriends most days and I hear all the stories, these girls are simply using the limited time (youth) they have to accumulate as much wealth as possible for themselves and their family, some are very good at it.
Anyway, if you have a thai girl, be aware she has other boys on the go when you first meet, whether she wants to talk about them and give them up should decide if you want to invest in a relationship with her. Good luck!
I can tell you how much money you send to you're Thai Girlfriend. ZERO!!!
ReplyDeleteI fine it unreal that you guys send money to these girls, wake up! If you are not with her its not your turn.
ReplyDeletei've read alot of your comments guys,i think the only advice is you can give as much as you afford and remember you're in control,if your concerned stop sending money and see what the reaction is,its hard but maybe a good test.
ReplyDeleteVery unusual title for a Hub, Mrvoodoo; but I enjoyed reading it. Personally, I have had enough problems over the years with females on my own doorstep without becoming embroiled in long distance relationships!! :)
ReplyDeleteThe only slight criticism I may have is that it is perhaps unfair to single out Thai girls. Quite a few years ago now, I knew a guy who got involved in a long distance relationship of this type with a, "Lady," from a Western European country. She bled him dry! Sadly, I don't know whatever became of him but the last I heard (five or more years ago) he had gone from financial security and more to virtual ruin - and she had disappeared in to the sunset...
just quickly read these comments im now living in thai
ReplyDeletewith a thai lady
ive been there the bar girl scene now ive woke up would guys you have to ask yourselves would you marry a prostitute in your own country (sorry girls but thats what you are ) dont get me wrong there are some lovely bar girls but unless your very lucky it wont work, ive seen some very nice men lose everything, and i had an internet cafe here and saw first hand how these girls operate some not all are very good at what they do example sick mum dad, sick buffalo, have to send money home true in many cases but not 10,000 baht, my phones broke thats why you cannot contact me, i wont go with men ill just work outside bar,the list is endless one lady i saw was getting at least 100,000 baht a month from about 6 men and they did not have a clue. i myself have fallen victim but only shortly i got a good bit of advice one night from an aussie guy he said its simple (only send what you can afford) if you rememeber this rule you cant get into trouble with money but as fro your heart who knows
Hi everybody here!! I'm Thai girl and as I read through all comments you posted here. There's only one suggestion here is "NO NEED to send any money to Thai Bar Girl if you are not wealthy enough. Just keep your money to save your ass clean." All bullshit comments!!
ReplyDeletewhat bar do u work at kesinee?
ReplyDeleteI've travelled through many parts of Thailand 20 years ago hopefully expectantly finding an exotic part of the Asian World. I found a people who wish to expliote MONEY from whomevere they could... I met a another (poor and great) girl from thai and wow !!! lets talk the truth..
ReplyDeletehey just another story ,ive lived in thailand 8 years or between cairns and thailand example if a thai works in a factory in bangkok 10-12 hours a day they earn 200 bart per day , so if your sending her money 10-000 bt per mth is well enough 20-000 wow . take a look at yourself and the 1st impressions off the thai girl . i know westerners that lives here ,some thai woman go to work and come home at night same as western world and some boyfriends give to get looked after 3000-10-000 per month , im sorry to say if i was you i would run
ReplyDeleteYou are abosultely correct about the "sick buffalo story"
ReplyDeleteI think the moral of the story is that you can not by love. The more money you offer, the less the girl respects you as a human being. The truth is that almost all of these girls could return to the villages in north eastern Thailand and live off almost nothing until you return. And if they are not interested in doing that, then they are probably just going to continue working in the bar, taking new customers. So I am going to say.. don't send them anymore than 3000THB per month.
Also the figures for avg Thai salary in this article may be correct, but they are very misleading. The avg salary for a waitress or cashier will be 4000-8000THB.
Most jobs that pay 7000-10000THB require a degree or some kind of qualifications that a bar girl will not have.
thats if your the only one sending her money most have thai men eny way dont hold your breth
ReplyDeleteI have been married to a Thai women for 12 years and for half of those years i was in the U.S. and she was in Thailand. I am living full time now in Thailand with her and retired. This was an intersting story but each person is different and the cultural differences are the main problem. Once you get through those you've got it made. Good insight and writing. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteThe best advice I can give is don't send what you can't afford to lose.
ReplyDeleteIt is a very complicated situation, one which I won't even attempt to investigate here, but what I do know is that most of these types of relationships do not succeed.
Not everyone can write an honest story like this one. Congratulations for this. Other than Thai women, I know of many Filipino women who get allowances from their boyfriends and husbands from overseas. Eventually, these Filipinas would join their men overseas or the men would live with them in the Philippines. Either way, most of them end up happily married with their foreigner husbands for long, long years.
ReplyDeleteI think that in 99% of cases, you are a fool to send a bar girl money. If you think she is going to stop working, then you are quite naive .. and if you know she is working .. they why the hell would she need you to send money? It is a lose lose situation .. falling in love with a bar girl isn't exactly a great idea!
ReplyDeleteMan u guys kill me I'm a black man from los angeles i've lived in europe, cancun mexico and aruba and there is no way, I mean no fucking way that shit would ever happen to me. Look I'am from L.A. we practically invented the money hungry bitch. Listen I'am moving to thailand in a few month and I wish some girl from thailand eastern europe or the U.S would try that shit with me. The only thing they would get is a beer and a hard stiff one if you know what I mean. Dam are we men or fucking mice? Get a grip!! Iam out.
ReplyDeleteHaHa. Silky dogg.. I'm black also and i live in the ghetto of the Soi. but i fuck alot of Blokes wives and Aussie wives. some are on Ya-ba and Ya-Ice. the cost?? was a game of pool or a lady drink.. yes i got a girlfriend in pattaya . who i support,but she tell me everything about what she doing.. sometime. I suggest to her to bitch-out and go Short Time..if the money is right and the Sucker got big money,take his Bahts. Condoms A MUST!!.No blowjobs. Cold pimpin is the only way to go in Thailand. So How Can I Do..
DeleteA good bar girl will also be good at acting, why be faithful to one man sending you money when you could have a least 2 maybe 5 or 10 sending you money and you can still work. Maybe in some cases she wants stability(more often the case if she has a kid) but most of the she will have a man fooled. I've only used such services in thailand twice but that was just for sex with no complications. If you want a thai girlfriend don't go for bar girls. If your still young ish and aren't a hopeless romantic get a job preferably in bangkok cos the girls are more modern and go out to clubs where thais like to party. I met a 2 girls so far on each of my trips there and each time they spent more money on me than I did on them and I got laid. Maybe a shame I couldn't stay there at the time but then I'd feel awkard in the long run since most thai's have a relatively low wage.
ReplyDeletefinn
DeleteI have got involved with a Thai woman she works as a chef in a bar I have sent her 6000b for rent in the new apartment I found for her she will pay 3000. I think she will have her holiday Visa soon which I paid 40000b when she is away from the bar and in a different country I will know if we are good for each other she earns 15000 a month I will give her this to send 5000 for her daughter 2000 for motor bike, she will help we with my work in the uk so I think this is fair. If not happy together I will end our relationship when she returns home after three/six months.
Thai Girls are for you to make you feel good and happy. They are for sure there for your good time, they will talk with you, entertain you as well, But it is also true they are just after your money. if you will spend more money you will definitely get back more…….. here i introduce a new thailand thai girls site which gives us a lot of information................
ReplyDeleteMost of the thai girls are in this for a few reasons :
ReplyDelete1. They want money for themselves and their whole family
2. They want to quit job - and live like queens
3. They want to taste the Europeean (Or US) "rich" lifestyle
4. They want to post 2 million pictures of themselves on facebook.
If there is love in here some place it dissapear in all this talk about money, gold, shopping, gifts, wedding planes, and moneyclaim to their parents. .................. It will start early in realtionship.... and it will increase all the time. --- When you are economic broken, they'll change you out with another farrang.... ---- -- I know this... because I am close to broke, and probably single soon... - Dont go thai - but dont go russian either.... -- Do it just for fun, - like they do to you - and you will keep your life and your money safe !